The first-line surgery I do on every script

The first-line surgery I do on every script

A personal-finance client sent me twelve scripts that all opened the same lazy way. Here's the surgery, four cuts. Cut one: remove "in this video." Cut two: remove any greeting. Cut three: remove the topic announcement. Cut four: whatever survives, make it a claim or a number.

Take one script. Before: "In this video I'll explain why your savings account is a bad idea."
After the four cuts: "Your savings account loses you money every single month."

The result: across all twelve rewrites, average 3-second retention went from 54% to 78%, and his best one hit 220k against a 19k baseline.

The principle: a hook should land as a claim, not an agenda. If it sounds like a table of contents, cut until it sounds like an accusation.